Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Apply only to affected area. For recreational use only.If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Subject to change without notice. Slippery when wet.
If you’re a geek like me, then you should be able to appreciate The Defenders of Stan.
A friend of mine sent me this link recently, it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. This is proof positive that what the TV networks see fit to throw obscene amounts of money at is not generally deserving of it. The Internet just might put all the TV executives out of a job as well. Interesting times….
I don’t care. I’m still voting for Henry Rollins. (I didn’t expect him to win anyway).
Supersize ME!
I’ve had a few ideas for posts that ran along the lines of top 10 lists, however, I couldn’t come up with 10 for all of them, so we’ll go with 5.
The Top 5 things about being a non-smoker that suck
Oh, that’s right. I may have forgotten to mention that to you guys, I used to smoke. In fact, I smoked for a 
very long time. As I moved to Minnesota, decided that it seemed as good a time as any to quit. That was fuckin’ brilliant. On the other hand, I’ve made it some 10 weeks now with only a few cheats. Oh, and by the way
I WANT TO FUCKIN’ KILL SOMEBODY!!!!
Perhaps I should start with Tobacco Executives.
It’s not easy. However, as my body goes through the rather painful detoxification process from some twenty odd years of injecting myself with some of the worst poisons known to man, I’ve noticed a 
few side effects that suck.
1. Everything stinks. When I was smoking, I had a diminished sense of smell. Before I started smoking I had a rather strong sense of smell. Now that I’ve quit, the sense of smell is starting to return, and it sucks. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING stinks. Especially my apartment building. And it’s not just one stink, oh no. That would be too easy, I could get used to it. No there’s one 
bad smell in the garage, another bad smell in the lobby (made worse by the fact that they’re painting this week), yet another god awful smell in the elevator that smells a lot like people that don’t bathe, and just for good measure, a horrid death-like stench in the hallway outside my apartment. Probably from the guy hanging leaves over his fucking door.
2. I’m hungry all the damn time. And I’m gaining weight like crazy. Last night I ate an entire box of Honey Nut Cheerios. Not one of them ever saw milk. Nicotine is an appetite suppressant. Guess what happens when you go off your appetite suppressant you’ve been on for twenty years?
3. I’m sleepy all the damn time. I suppose spending 20 years on a stimulant might tend to cause you to develop a certain tolerance to it. During the day I can’t stay awake, and at night I can’t sleep (note the time this was posted).
4. Stress. Cigarettes are a coping mechanism, and Nicotine reduces stress. Today is my first day off the patch, and I’m feeling some heightened stress.
5. I’ve got nothing to do after meals. I have to say, that 
was my favorite cigarette, the one that came after meals. When I’ve just eaten, that’s when it’s the hardest.
I don’t know how tobacco companies managed to come up with such an insidious product. Even more surprising is how they seem quite sincere when stating that it isn’t addictive or dangerous. I’ve heard cigarette addiction compared to heroin addiction. I can’t attest to how hard it is to quit heroin, but this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Now I’ve got struggling with this for the rest of my life to deal with, because you never get over it. I’m still waiting for that magic payoff when I magically feel better and enjoy the smell of everything around me. Still waiting….
The side of the story you didn’t hear from the politicians or the media.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
I’m separated from my family. My health and sanity are failing. I’m running out of money and I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to pay my bills. The economy downturn is seriously kicking my ass (thanks, Dubya). I need money.
On the other hand, there’s nobody dropping bombs on my home and my family.
If you haven’t heard about the conflict in Georgia yet, it’s time to turn on the news. Russia has invaded the sovereign country that was once a fellow member of the Soviet Union. From what I’ve learned, this country has worked it’s ass off over the years since the dissolution of the Soviet Union to go from one of the most corrupt countries to a bastion of Democracy. And now they’re being systematically conquered. They’re getting bombed right now.
Georgia is one of the few countries that have sent troops to Iraq to support us there. They had to pull their troops out last week in order to attempt to defend their own country. I think it’s been obvious that I’m not a fan of the Iraq war, but it’s worth mentioning that they sent their soldiers to die with ours as a demonstration of loyalty to our country in what is a distinctly American “war”.
Yesterday Russia called a cease fire, then continued rolling tanks into the country and dropping bombs. Today Condoleeza Rice is being sent to France and to Georgia. She’s intentionally not going to Russia, which seems like exactly where she needs to be going. I’m not sure how she’s going to convince Russia to withdraw their troops from Georgia… from Georgia.
We can’t help militarily. Even if America was willing to we’re so overstretched in Iraq and Afghanistan that we would have difficulty defending our own borders at the moment. Apparently all Bush is going to do is throw Rice at them (pun intended).
I wish her luck, but even though I’m broke I’m going to do what I can to help the people getting bombed, because I’m still luckier than they are right now. I’m not sure if this is the charity I’m going to use, but it seems like a good choice based on an initial google search.
Save the Children Assists Families in Russia-Georgia Conflict
I’ve never been a big follower of the Olympics in the past, but this time around I find myself watching it from time to time. I think somewhere in the back of my head I knew Beach Volleyball was an Olympic event, but it surprised anyway. I did find it entertaining to watch all the same. I think I really like Beach Volleyball now.
When I think of the Olympics, there are just certain sporting events I don’t tend to think of. Other events that have surprised me so far:
I really don’t mean to belittle any of these events, but I have to wonder at what point someone decides they want to be a Badminton Olympic Gold Medalist.
On the other hand, I can tell by watching them that any of them could seriously kick my ass without breaking a sweat. I just didn’t know anybody took the game that seriously.
Boy: And this is my father’s Olympic Gold Medal (grins)
Girl: Wow, I didn’t know your dad was a medalist too! My father was a three time Triathlon Gold Medalist. What was your father’s medal for?
Boy: (slight pause) Badminton. So, do you like movies?
It bears an odd resemblance to a Dalek…
Just like the last two elections.
This one speaks for itself.
A game where you play a character playing a game… I’m pretty sure I have that game.
Gypsy rock. That fuckin’ rocks!
Another Idiot with a Blog 
